Job update

 Soooo ... the bad news ... remember that translation job I've been waiting for?  Yeah, it's been delayed.  Pretty much indefinitely, in the sense that nobody knows exactly when the funding will come through.  It could be within a couple of weeks, or it could be a few months.

However, there are significant silver linings.  I can't even imagine how despondent this news would have made me, if I were still sitting at home (im)patiently waiting.  Instead, I had a ready-made job to step into.  Yes, now it is an official job, on the payroll and everything.  I'm making as much as I would make as a substitute teacher, and I don't want to look for anything more permanent quite yet.  I really want to do that translation job.  But in the meantime, I'm paying the bills.

Plus, this job is actually turning out to be surprisingly fulfilling.  I kinda expected to be mostly a personal secretary / errand girl ... not so much.  In fact, Ernesto has been in Italy for the past three weeks and I've never been busier.

 And, as most of you know, I'm really not a 9-to-5 kind of worker.  I spent TONS of extra hours as a teacher, and I really invest 110% in any job I care about.  As a result, even when I thought I'd be working elsewhere by now, I was really worried about leaving my position.  I've taken on some projects that nobody in the existing personnel pool has time to take over, and -- modestly speaking -- replacing me at this pay level would be nearly impossible.  So it feels good to be able to follow through a bit.

AND, I have learned a TON over the past couple of months. Mostly things that I never really aspired to know, but still ... good and useful things.  For example, I actually have a pretty decent idea of what it  takes to start up a restaurant, since I was instrumental in doing so (in fact, I'm constantly being asked if I'm the owner!). A couple of days ago I sat in on a meeting outlining the policies & responsibilities of mall tenants ... who would ever have thought I would be in a position to know about that?  I've interviewed and hired two BYU interns, and will probably be their primary go-to person.  I've created a menu for a weight loss program, calculating all the nutritional information and adapting the recipes for the needs of a restaurant kitchen, and I run the whole thing on a day-to-day basis except for the actual cooking of the food.

In other words, I have quite a lot of new skills for a resume!  I still hope to get back to work in the language field -- translating, editing, writing, teaching -- but you never know what life is going to throw at you.  Job experience is never a bad thing to have.

Authenticity

So, as I was saying ... a month with no posts.  There are a few reasons for that.  But here's a biggie.

For reasons that I will elaborate on shortly, the concept of authenticity has been on my mind quite a bit.  And it has posed a small problem with regards to this blog.  Well, two problems I guess.  First:  while it was a very purposeful choice to make this blog focus on optimism and hope (which, incidentally, I still think is a good way to go), it also means that I have to gloss over--or sometimes completely deny--my true feelings on the subject of divorce.  Because for me, it's a pretty clear-cut issue:  DIVORCE IS WRONG.  Even when it's necessary, even when it's the best solution for all concerned, it is still WRONG.

Let me 'splain.  I truly believe that if both spouses would do their best to follow the Savior, divorces would be virtually non-existent.

That doesn't mean we need to be perfect, of course -- we are all going to fall short at times.  Probably quite often.  Regardless, if we keep our eyes on the ultimate goal, and honestly strive for it with all our hearts, 99% of divorces don't need to happen.  I want to leave that 1% open, because I'm sure there are circumstances that I haven't thought of -- brain injuries for example, or permanent mental breakdowns.  But I can't think of a divorce offhand in which both spouses were doing their very best to make Christlike decisions and lead Christlike lives.

That is why I say it's wrong.  It is a byproduct of sin.  And it is always a tragedy.  When a sealing is involved, it is doubly so.  It's the death of an entire universe.

And it's my current reality.  And it feels very dishonest at times to ignore that.  Yes, I want to stay positive and have faith in the Lord's plan for me.  But the eternal future that I consecrated myself to is dying, and that is one hell of a tragedy.  Intentional word-play alert.

Now ... as I said, the authenticity issue involves a second problem.  It also forces me to deal with some feelings of guilt.  Because every time I say/think "Whew, what a relief to be off that crazy train!" ...  what am I really saying?  Am I being like Pontius Pilate, content to just wash my hands, and glad that somebody else will be left holding the bag come judgment day?

There are no easy answers, to be sure.  But, as always, it feels better to have the questions articulated. =)

Ah, so this thing IS on!

For some time I've been feeling a bit like I should tap on my figurative mike here ... testing, testing ... can anyone hear me?  Because--so I thought--here I've been pouring out my heart and soul (with illustrations, no less!) and nobody had left a single comment.  Then today I realized that it's been a month since I posted, so I logged in and voila!  Nine comments waiting to be moderated.  And yes, they date back to the beginning.  No idea where they've been hanging out all this time.  Ah well.  Good to hear from y'all. =)

Meanwhile, as I said, it's been a month since I posted.  Mostly because of that irritating tendency for things that were once crystal clear to get all fuzzy again.  Blah.

So anyway ... I'm gonna set aside some time on Sunday and try to make sense of a few things.  And for writers, the best way to do that is usually through writing.  Stay tuned ... =P